When Is Weird Weird?

Attended the very excellent Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds at Ally Pally recently - totally excellent set, pretty neat surroundings and even that hike up the slope seemed less knackering than the last time I walked it. What made my evening was going through the obligatory security check and handing over my bag for a poke and rummage only for the securityguard to recoil in shock and horror upon finding my purse.

In his words "that's weird that is, totally weird, weirdest thing I've seen tonight" Now given that Nick Cave attracts a good proportion of "alternative lifestyle" bods (and yay to that) and there was a good range on display, how frightening can a purse be?

I'm mean, it only looks like this.... he's lucky I'd left the rucksac at home

Still, it gave me something to laugh at during the night - you don't get that many laughs with Nick Cave but you do get a totally energetic performance. One of the highlights was a stage effect which I don't know was intentional or not and that was the silhouettes on the walls of the halls of the performers. Very dark - in his words "he's god - he's a gu-ru"

The things you see at Festivals

Beside bands of course!

Spent an enjoyable Sunday at V2005 (Hylands) and thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing. 10/10 for organisation what with shuttle buses, extra trains, no restriction on bring in your own food & drink and, much to the delight of OH, the provision of walk-up urinals on the way out. The only mishap was someone knocking their beer over and me acting as an unwitting dam. For the people sitting near me - no, I hadn't wet myself with excitement.

As there was a bit of turnarouns time between acts, it gave em the opportunity for a bit of observation about "things you see at festivals"

There was the obligatory inflatable doll and inflatable sheep being hoisted aloft. Once the bearers of the said inflatables realised that this was making them the target for objects being hurled at them, the doll was passed around at a speed not seen outside a 100m relay race.

And tattoos. I quite like the odd tat and there was a fine array of bodywork on display with plenty of tribal designs, snakes, wolves and the like. And then there was "Cnut"boy.

Obviously his tattoist did spell it correctly but what on earth (other than copious amounts of alcohol) would make someone think that this particular four letter word would make an attractive tattoo when depicted in 3 inch high letters on his back. Making him a big cnut indeed.

I can just imagine it in the local inkworks "do whatever springs to mind mate, I'm hard enough" - tattoist rubs hands in glee remembering all the times the mouthy item had annoyed him and inked up with delight. And what about if it came to identiyfing the body in dodgy circumstances "distinguishing marks? ah yes, just the one" Poor love, maybe no-ones ever told him and he thinks he's just got "John" on his back.

Maybe it was cheaper than having "brainless moron" done.

And then there is the "paid all the money for the gig, got pissed and sleep" contingent. There was one rapidly turning red lobster-type sprawled out in front of me, he looked to have enjoyed all the possible enjoyments that a festival offers and had managed to roll on his rizla papers which were sticking to his sweating body like bits of tissue paper on a bad shaver. He was somnolent through most of the acts, with his partner toeing him in the ribs every 2o mins or so to check he was still breathing. He was.

And of course there were the saddoes trying to chat up girls waaay outside their level. Sorry sunshine, offering someone your last smoke doesn't mean she wants to have your babies.

Speaking of the ladies, there is a new pastime "Shark Fin Rodeo". Let me explain, girls are hoisted on to blokes shoulders, the trend for low rise jeans means that thong triangles (shark fins) are now visible signalling time for surrounding friends to tug and pull said item until one gives in. Just what you want on a hot sweaty day - someone's bumfloss.

And the bands? I Am Kloot were definitely a surprise show stealer, Joss Stone was on top notch in terms of powerful voices, Athlete & Embrace worked the crowd and raised the feeling of oneness with plenty of crowd involvement and Franz Ferdinand were a slick performance then Scissor Sisters came on and it was a real spectacular. Wow. The only dilemma you have at any multistage gigs is whether you stick with one stage and get a good view or wander around and catch the odd half hours of lots of things. That will be probably be the strategy for next year.

So what with good music, fragrant atmosphere, plenty to look at (did I mention the "people who should wear more clothes" as another category) and the excellent planning for the home journey meant my first "V" won't be the last.

Getting Ready..

Usually weekends are that boring mix of domestic drudgery and housework, all to be completed before being able to go out and do thing "fun". This Saturday pressing deadline was to get the next thrilling installment SrokaSounds nailed done ready to be hurled onto Bonfire Radio. Trouble is, I kept on finding new tracks that I'd recently downloaded that seemed to fit in well and threw out the schedule...it didn't help that a cd I'd thought would have turned up earlier didn't and then arrive today giving me more dilemmas. I think only four tracks from the original list made it in the end - still that's podcasting for you.

The reason for the rush is that I'm off to V2005 with OH tomorrow (who needs to swot up on current bands in my opinion) it's part of his birthday present - I also need to get a card & wrapping present for the rest before Monday morning... Really excited about V - although getting back is going to the feat of organisational planning the like not seen this century. The last thing I want to be doing is kipping at Chelmsford station at 3am knowing I need to be in work in 3 hours time. Oh it's so fun! Looking forward to seeing Josh Rouse in particular as Slaveship is on my "music to cheer you up" playlist and that'll be neat to hear live.

Excellent bit campaigning animation available from the electech web to support JonnyBs campaign to keep his local post office open - noble cause, fantastic take-off of The Streets - enjoy it. Hope they keep your Post open Jonny-Boy!

OneMusic Insomina

Actually for once I don't mind not being able to sleep (well I do since it's means something has gone tits up) as it gave me the opportunity to "listen again" to the Rob da Bank Thee More Shallows session on Radio1- which I missed going out at it's original 11 - 1am slot as I stupidly was able to sleep then. I have that problem - guaranteed if there is something I want to listen to/watch then I'll drowse off only to wake about 1.5hours later totally unable to sleep.....

It's been a while since I listened to OneMusic so it was pure chance that I was browsing a blog that was praising Thee More Shallows (and understandably so - they are the dogs) and it was flagging that they were "in session" tonight. How serendiptious is that!

I'm abandoning the futon from hell and the sofa from limbo (two seater sofas very cosy - guaranteed dead neck and loss of circulation if you try to sleep on them, that is unless you are a Staffordshire Bull Terrier in which case, it's apparently heaven) as alternative sleeping locations - maybe I'll slump over the pc instead.

The Teamwork Twins Are No More

A Day for goodbyes - two people I worked with over the years are taking "Release" (that's voluntary redundancy in realspeak) and have to go by the end of August. One is someone who trusts me enough to invite me to the "secret leaving" bash for those who they feel have always been good confidentes and "get it" I've also been entrusted with her collection of sarky cartoons with the command to "never lose the cycnicsm" (fat chance of that). I was touched to be included in the "trusted" crowd so roll on more drinking in the city in a couple of weeks time. I'll miss her as she was someone who really appreciated the value of being organised and knew me back when I was a humble secretary and was pleased that I got on OK.

The other person is someone who I hold in such a high regard that I'd recommend sainthood (only I'd prefer her to stay alive actually) She is definitely one of the "good people" and I'm elated that she is going before the company won and sucked the vitality out of her. I admire her decisveness and positive outlook so much - she doesn't have another job to go to yet, isn't stressed by this and is looking forward to, in her own words" being able to make a difference somewhere else where it is appreciated but on her terms". She has always sought to be fair to others and challenge unfairness at every level where she encountered it despite not exactly being given the even handed treatment back.

She made me face up to the harsh choices available to me in my own life and never failed to make me laugh and was a very good rant-sponge for those days when I was being a toxic emotional slice of pity. She isn't a mood hoover and will always talk sense (at least I "get it" - we are on the same planet, I don't know about the rest of you). There aren't many people I can think of who would have done a performance of "Working 9-5" as part of a team event but she did. If there ever was a role model for being a real person, she's it!

And I've told her all these things as one of the lessons she's taught me is the importance of saying things that matter to the people that need to hear it when they need to hear it. There is nothing worse than an "if only" when it comes to friends.

"Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun don'-go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round"

We were once paired together on a bowling "fun" evening as a type of team building and didn't take it seriously, earning several black marks from the organiser for not being concerned that we were dragging the scores down - that we both didn't tell them where to poke it was testimony to an inner strength we didn't know we possessed. But what we were very good at was encouraging each other hence the caption of the exceptionally unflattering photo taken to commemorate this event "The Team Work Twins"

So to Jo - cheers you changed my life and made me a better person. Be in touch.

So this is what good feels like!

Since becoming the Human Aeonium things seem to be looking up! I've not had a bout of insomina for ages (that'll be the booze dear) - which is irritating as I've loads of music I'd scheduled in for the the 2am - 4.30am pacing the floorboards slot but the payoff I do actually look as though I'm remotely human as opposed to something recently taken off of methodone.

There has been some pretty neat social life stuff going on - went to see Fruitstock Festival a couple of weeks ago at Regents Park - sponsored by Innocent Smoothie people, was very "right-on Islington" with the play area being ELC, kids yoga and lots of organic stuff and a van with udders! And music. Lots of it. For Free. Jerry Fish & The MugBug Club were excellent and I could have hurled myself at the stage if I hadn't remembered that I'm meant to be a grown up. Hal were the headliners and were brill. Got the cd of the festival and there is a really neat retro-type home movie type thingy on the website that gives a real flavour (that would be vanilla & honey) of the event. and it was free! London Parks in the Sun on a Sunday - it's what living was for.

And prior to that, my good friends at Lewisham's Bar Phoenix had a private bash for a select bunch on the Saturday before Fruitstock (well anyone able to negotiate the stairs) and the starturn was KandiKane. The Camel Toe song and Beaver live on in memory although won't be featuring on a podcast on the grounds of decency.....

and speaking of podcasts...

SrokaSounds is now part of Bonfire Radio. Pete Ashton - you are my hero! The original Gothiron Guide hosted mp3casts are still on the site (as are the two "official" editions of SrokaSounds) but have a gander at BonfireRadio and listen to those guys who sound like they know what they are doing. I sound like a whelk. Am chuffed that I am No.8.

Plus (and this is probably the reason for the euphoria) I've had two meetings in Town finishing early enough to take advantage of being able to go into a good old fashioned proper smokey City pub. For the best part of 16 years I used to work in London and one of the highlights used to be being able to go for a smoke and pint (or three) at lunchtime or afterwork. Then you get shipped out to an out of town work-park (no pubs worth bothering about and what's the fun of half a weak shady because you've got to drive home later). I felt like someone had rolled back 10 years when I was slurping the beer in the heart of the City surrounded by smokers and drinkers who were there to relax in the traditional manner. Bliss.

Oh it won't last but at the moment I feel like I'm human again for a while at least and you know what. It's great!

I Am A Human Aeonium

Not one to spend either much time or money on myself (and it shows) I was pleasantly surprised by how relaxing spending just under three hours at the hairdressers can be. Also did you know that fag-ash and perm lotion are a neat way to remove dye stains....and who said smoking was bad for you...

I am thrilled that I look outrageous - the old girl in the local snips (called Bladerunners) was fascinated by what I was having done, forgetting how vibrant hair dye can look, it's not surprised, for a while I thought I was going to look like Dennis the Menance's Jumper....and overcoming my natural hatred of having photos taken - there is a batch of them on Flickr.

And of course, I am exactly the same colour as an Aeonium - hope I don't wilt in the cold!

I just want to Sleep!

Not exactly ambigious about why I'm updating this - flaming hell why can't I sleep properly.

I thought I'd cracked this by not getting stressed at work, drinking less coffee and getting home at a decent time - well I might as well just mainline expresso, act like a demented rhino and stay until they turn the lights off. I can just pull things to worry about out of the ether and wham - bye-bye sleep. Reorgs, worries about ability to cope, worries about perception of being a talentless no-hoper who just got lucky, worries about being seen as some sort of deadwood, oh the insecurities know no bounds.

The worse thing is, I can manage to put all this into perspective for about two hours at a time (unfortunately not the hours that might mean I get to sleep OK) and then, slump, ooze away confidence, wallow in self pity commences. I don't really think that my opening gambit to a potential new manager should be "well, I'm feeling a bit weird today, can't work out why oh, and I'm useless". I do realise that thoughts that are floating around at 1.30am aren't usually the most rational and I'm trying to check all this in perspective.

But when you find yourself hating yourself more and more each day for being yourself, where do you go?

Still - there's an upside, I can catch up on podcasts I haven't been able to listen to previously, sort out the more naff bits of the blog and order OH birthday present. Oh the joys of being awake for extra hours - just how would I fit all this in otherwise . Wallowing in self pity takes a lot of time you know! Currently on the pc is Luke Temple's "Hold A Match to a Gasoline World" - heard the tracks via an another blog, and liked it enough to buy the album. Who says that the internet is killing music sales!

Oh well here's another neat picture of stuff from the garden