The Haunted Locomotive

Working in a nominally customer services type environment means that I have a great deal of scorn for those companies that decide that individuals can't be trusted to communicate in an appropriate manner and must have a script to follow. Step forward Train Companies.

Having the opportunity to be doing the intercity type into Birmingham and fondly imagining that it wouldn't be long until I could drop the corporate baggage (physical and mental) and hit alcohol. This would be until there was a "technical issue we need to resolve" type annoucement issued forth to not-explain what was happening. Lots of silence, lots of worried pacing from the tracksman, and the frequent "we are still dealing with the technical issue we need to resolve with the train, apologies to our customers for any delay" Any delay? Why not be specific and list the exact minutes delayed - that would be of help to the passengers needing to fill out the compensation forms. But the "Train Manager" - would that be "guard" in oldspeak? delivered the prescripted "Apology and Outfomation for circumstances that we haven't come across before" very well. Very corporately in fact and therefore totally useless to us poor saps who would have either settled for "it's to do with the track" "something is up - we'll be moving soon" or even silence.

Compare and contrast with the spirit of John Peel currently resident in Train Manager 2 on the journey back from Brum. It was very HMHB with the Train Manager conveying in tone if not in actual speech that he would actually welcome the opportunity to lamp anyone trying to get on the train just as it was departing "If you try to pull the doors when the train is closing, it will just stay there and we won't be going anywhere" and that fare dodgers should be flogged "If your ticket doesn't say 1700, you are on the wrong train, your ticket is not valid and you need to buy a new one - and for those intending to "depart" at Coventry - there is a ticket barrier" but best of all was the instruction re seat occupancy "well, we've left Coventry, if you are still standing and there is a vacant seat and you've checked no-one is sitting in it, I think empty seats are to be considered fair game now" Train Manager 2 - you would win an award for real customer service and management because you talk rather than "inform" and actually make people listen to you. Plus you are a wonderfully sarky bastard!