Jonah!

Arghhhhhhhh!

A reason I'm signed Gothiron is that I am nominally a West Ham United Season Ticket holder which is meant to mean I go to watch games. The score so far this year 1-2 in terms of home games I've actually seen against those I could have watched. The opening match of the season was sacrificed to attending a work colleagues bbq in jolly Kempston (and the result, we won), the next home game I attend (and the result we lose) and then tonight, with sports fans buoyed up by the Ashes victory, a thumping 4-0 against The Villa and do I get to watch it - like buggery I did. Local roadworks with temporary lights that went tits up meant that for about 40ish minutes I hadn't even made it to the M25 - which ironically was clear as anything. I'd optimistically thought that I might miss the first 15mins if I got home early enough to catch the bus and then sprinted up the High Street - instead I relived every kick and tackle in the cosy environs of the car, the kitchen and then finally the digibox since listening online wasn't an option. I'm really pleased that Marlon Harewood got a hatrick - and even more chuffed that my mum wasn't squashed up for 90 minutes on the account of having a spare seat by her. Not a free seat - just spare.

I had txted my mum who I go (or rather don't go) with to footie, jokingly saying that I won't be allowed in to the ground at this rate (and that was when we were only 2-0 up) only to get the reply of "we're seriously thinking of selling your seat" This isn't a threat to be taken lightly - when I left home, she'd sold my bed within the afternoon....

So just because bloody temporary lights decided to stay red for everyone on a blind bend meaning that only intrepid Chelsea Tractors would venture out first (followed by a pack of cowardly family cars and then the rust buckets at the rear), my seat is in danger since I am that acursed thing - a football Jonah.

Still, cracking start Hammers - couldn't you just win once when I turn up? I promise, I'll miss any cup finals on principal.