Mission Completed

Yee-bloody-hay, Christmas purchasing is almost complete bar the requirement to buy *something* for a ten & half year old that will either a) actually be appreciated or b) doesn't take loads of wrapping/thought/dosh in the event that a) isn't achieved.

I adopted the two day approach, on the assumption that I would be likely to be reduced to a sobbing heap if I had to get all this completed in one day in the local shopping pit - plus there is only so much Christmas musak I can take although I also had a strategy for that - which came slightly unstuck....

Note to readers Do Not be listening to Diggnation podcast featuring the article about the octopus and the shark (the winner wasn't the usual suspect) whilst meandering through Red Herring in Debenhams if you are prone to muttering things such as "yah go Octopus" and grinning like a nutter - not if you want serving this side of the dawning of the next millennium.

With playlist locked on to "anything not christmassy but loud" variety, I was able to ignore the "Last Christmas", "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" "Santa Baby" et al and felt suitably chilled. Chilled enough to get the ideal book for my brother "Aimed at pedants to know-it-alls, as well as those simply wishing to 'get it right', this book will appeal to the modern passion for factual accuracy" ie ideal in the sense that it made me laugh at him whilst choosing it.

Then onwards to blitz part of the list designated as "easy" ie for the ladies in my life. Lucky there is a Lush - shame I didn't realise that one of the items in a pack is "Two-Timing Tart", not sure who I can give that to without causing uproar.....it is bringing back memories of the "novelty" pasta shapes that I didn't realise were included in a mixed variety pack I bought back from Italy last year and gave to my Mum, oh god the horror of having to confess a) what "they" were and b) that I hadn't recognised them.....

That left Sunday's more daring trip to Town, combining it with a meet up with a friend, meaning that serious shopping would have to be fitted around serious binting and possibly serious coffee consumption. Tough call.

David & Goliath at Covent Garden - you are my saviours! Working on the principle that if I like stuff naturally everyone else will (flawed logic my speciality) I was blissfully completing the rest of the list and regretting that there wasn't any male relatives for whom I could get something trendy for - I have male relatives, they just don't have the perequisite sense of humour. I even managed to blag a free badge (wow a whole £1 worth of badge!!) by asking politely if I could have one (on account of buying loads of stuff) - so I am officially "Princess of Darkness".

Stanfords the map gods completed the rest of the list, again there are presents that are going to have to be wrested away from me with a crowbar to end up with the recipients.

Find of the day however wasn't a present for the awkwardest person in the world but rather the discovery that the cafe in Foyles is a real tranquil bolthole. It's right in the middle of the Ray's Jazz and has vegan specialities and vegan cakes as standard. Well worth knowing and I look forward to a visit in the near future as the idea of eating real food, surrounded by books and listening to jazz, well that would be a present you couldn't wrap!

and speaking of wrapping, I can't wrap stuff so it looks neat, or even completely covered. I am reknowned for use of masking type, superglue, gluegun, gaffer tape and most recently electrical tape as the adhesive medium of choice. I think it's something to do with not being able to draw - I also can't cut straight, tear straight, fold straight or even estimate the correct amount of paper needed to complete the task.

Shopping sorted meant that coffee, binting on, alcohol and catching up could all be leisurely completed and I emerged stress free and cheerful. Maybe I have stumbled upon the ultimate Christmas shopping strategy:

• Listen to a weird fish-killer podcast and mutter - gives you loads of space in shops
• Buy what you like for everyone else - safe in the knowledge that you can have it if they don't like it.
• Ensure you buy only from shops you like - therefore you don't mind spending hours looking at um err well things you want really
• Discover somewhere neat to come back to - if it includes music and food fantastic
• Ensure you buy yourself something - or better still, get given it for free!
• Drink

Now, what can I get that 10 year old....