Christmas is Cancelled....

and other brilliant alt-festive tunes kindly made avaiable for free via Thee Sheffield Phonographic Corporation Christmas Download Extravaganza.............

Seeing as "Stop the Cavalary" is universally slated as a dire Christmas dirge (although happens to be my favourite!), the cover available by Ormondroyd is a good update and doesn't sound naff at all and isn't kazoo-like bouncy.

And of course Long Blondes "Christmas is Cancelled" is just the kiss-off track you want handy at this time of year when it is meant to be goodwill to all men...best line is:

"No Mum, don't worry about me, I'll just have fish & chips for tea, watch the queen and go to sleep" Brilliant.

Pete Green and "Everything's Dead Pretty When It Snows" is for all those of us who have the short straw of working when everyone else buggered off and wonder why the casual question of "so, when do you knock off then" starts a fit of twitching. If you work in insurance - this is your Christmas song. It does have bells though.

Velodrome 2000 "Christmas Sucks" this is for you jingle-bell fiends and a bit of thrash-santa chucked in. It's all about what you don't want to hear about and possibly covers every single "name an item associated with Christmas" entry you could think about.

Gyppos "Merry Christmas" is my favourite - gloomy, maudlin and depressing and sounds like a song from an updated version of Oliver Twist meets A Christmas Carol - yay have this one on and the reindeer will be presenting themselves at the slice 'n' dice venison shop. "The reaper is knocking at the front door" is a nice twist from Santa down the chimney - excellent!

They are all tuneful enough that they should be on mainplay - but I'm glad they're not - I'll be compiling my own Christmas playlist any day now to counteract Frosty the Fucking Snowman (although I'm sure that version is out there.....)

Thanks to HeyChuck for this.