A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow

Another raging spell of insomina....at some point soon I think I'm going to apply to work night shift and actually benefit from the fact that I'm awake when most people aren't!

I feel exceptionally guilty since I know that I'm now going to be in a vile mood for work, will conjure up a magic no-contact zone around me for friends and will seek refuge in coffee to keep me awake. Which it will. Tonight. And of course, my other half will be getting a restless night as well since however quiet you try to be when you are the only one up, you still somehow manage to sound like you are undertaking the percussion section of the local orchestra.

So why can't I sleep? Pointless worry about work and family - pointless in so much as the things I am concerned about (reorganisation, letting colleagues down, missing deadlines, new tasks etc etc) are things which I have no control over and logically I should just let them go and concentrate on things that are in my own remit. Which is the nub of the matter - just at the moment I feel as though I have very little control over what is happening - I'm stressed out so haven't the energy left (after worrying) to voice my concerns rationally (I'm feeling as though I have permanent PMT & a hangover), my head feels as though it's going to explode and I would just like a few hours back to myself - hence the insomina. I am very aware that my personal life is being affected, although the agreement I seem to have come to there is that as long as I try and act like a rational, caring, considerate person to my other half for at least 12 hours over the weekend, I don't feel so bad about basically being absent both emotionally and physically during the week. I realise by writing this that its a poor deal for him but its an improvement. The guilt sponge isn't particulary choosey about what it mops up, but there is only a finite absorption capacity before more space is created.

So that's why I keep on welling up - its excess guilt oozing out, I never realised that was the function of tears.

Oh roll on 5.30am, that's when I can legitimately leave the house for work without feeling like a total basket case. So what's new on the web to listen to for the next 45mins......

Any recommendations for basically coping - let me know!